Christmas is finally here! Let the Christmas nightmare begin.
In the world of advertisements and Hollywood movies, the perfect housewife, with flawless makeup, beautifully styled hair and an angelic smile, is happily cooking and baking, surrounded by her children playing peacefully. Meanwhile, her partner cheerfully arrives carrying a snow-covered Christmas tree. The presents have all been wrapped long ago and are neatly lined up against the wall, eagerly awaiting the moment when the tree will finally be decorated…
In reality, however, things tend to look rather different.
In the weeks leading up to Christmas, adults rush around in a state of near panic, desperately searching for presents and teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown. After work, in the evenings, at weekends. In the dark, in the snow, stuck in traffic among equally stressed-out drivers.
Money is tight, inflation is high, the children are sick, and the parents take turns staying home to look after them. Nobody has any idea what to buy for whom, but it hardly matters anyway: the presents cost a fortune, and nobody will be particularly happy with them.
There is baking to be done, cooking to be done, cleaning to be done. And looming over it all, like an approaching storm cloud, is the ultimate deadline: the sacred celebration of Christmas.
By then, everything must be ready, and everyone must be kind, loving and cheerful towards everyone else. Just to add a little extra tension, there is also the question of which side of the family gets which day of the holidays…
By the time Christmas finally arrives, a collective nervous breakdown is practically guaranteed in most households.
But does it really have to be this way?
Do we really need to give (so many) presents, bake so much and cook so much? Do we have to cling to outdated traditions? Or could we create our own new family traditions, centred around what Christmas is actually supposed to be about?
In the traditional family model, the housewife worked at home, spending her days cooking, washing, cleaning and raising the children. I would venture to say that even back then, preparing a large family Christmas dinner and organising presents for everyone must have been quite a challenge, especially with children at home during the winter holidays. Of course, when several generations lived under one roof, they could help each other with these tasks.
In today’s work-centred family model, both adults often work full-time. Ideally, they share not only the responsibility of earning money, but also the housework and childcare.
The older generation is often unable to help. They may still be working themselves, or they may be elderly, ill or even in need of assistance. And many parents are understandably reluctant to leave a sick child with their grandparents, even when that might otherwise be an option.
In the Nordic countries, a tradition similar to Secret Santa has long been popular, even within families. Instead of every adult buying presents for every other adult, each person buys just one gift for the person whose name they have drawn.
Names can be drawn from a hat, or, if getting everyone together is difficult, online. There are even free websites for organising this, such as this Hungarian Secret Santa website.
Why is giving fewer presents a good idea?
Because it leaves us with more time for each other in the weeks before Christmas.
We have more time to think carefully about that one special gift and choose something the recipient will genuinely appreciate. We can spend a little more on that one present if we wish.
We also avoid receiving piles of things we don’t really need or use.
And we reduce our environmental impact by cutting down on the production, transportation and packaging of countless unnecessary gifts.
Most importantly, we spare ourselves a great deal of stress in the run-up to Christmas.
Of course, it still makes sense to give presents to children, because gifts are an important part of how they experience the magic of Christmas. But children will also notice something else: a home with fewer arguments, less tension and happier parents.
For families who are ready to take things a step further, another option might eventually be to give presents only to the children.
For the adults, the real gift of Christmas could simply be getting together and enjoying each other’s company.
And who says a Christmas gathering has to involve an elaborate dinner?
You could meet in the afternoon instead, without cooking at all. Cakes, biscuits or savoury snacks can just as easily come from a shop.
If someone feels strongly about having a proper family Christmas meal, well, even Christmas dinner can be ordered!
Or perhaps each guest could be responsible for bringing one dish. 🙂
The possibilities are endless.
This brings us to the Danish concept of hygge (pronounced roughly HOO-guh).
Hygge is a word that describes the warm, cosy feeling of being together with family and friends, enjoying simple pleasures in a relaxed and welcoming atmosphere.
Imagine a Christmas where adults come together simply because they genuinely want to be together. Where everyone feels happy, comfortable and at ease.
No pressure to impress. No endless obligations. No exhausting preparations.
Just spending time together, enjoying each other’s company and celebrating.
Because that is what Christmas is really about.